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New Game of Thrones Season 7 promo… oh me oh my

March 30, 2017 Leave a comment

I seriously can’t wait for Season 7 to start.

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Review: Game of Thrones Season 5 Episode 8: “Hardhome” (spoilers)

June 1, 2015 Leave a comment

The Four Horsemen of the Wight-copalypse

Holy effin crap! To recap:

  1. Tyrion and Dany meet up and have a conversation about their wonderful fathers (just in time for Father’s Day, eh?). Jorah gets banished back to the pits. Dany decides that Tyrion will advise her so long as he can keep sober enough to do so.
  2. Sansa and Theon have a heart to heart. If you think Sansa is a wilting little flower, you’re so wrong. She basically told him that if she had her way, it would be her slicing off his manhood instead of Ramsey. Then, Theon gives up that Rickon and Bran are still alive, which she did not know. Now she has hope to carry on.
  3. Arya is still in her super secret agent spy training and is about to go on her first mission. The grin on her face was epic.
  4. Cersei is getting hers, finally. That biotch has caused so much trouble that it’s very satisfying to see her all imprisoned and what not. But Qyburn stops by and tells her that the experiment continues. If you don’t know what he’s talking about, he means his attempts to “Frankenstein” The Mountain back to life (Gregor Clegane). Perhaps that will factor into Cersei’s upcoming trial. It will also be interesting to find out if her uncle Kevan has anything to do with her imprisonment.
  5. Hardhome. Before this continues, let me say that as a book reader, all of what happens at Hardhome took me by surprise. Wights? White Walkers? The Night’s King? Re-animation? That’s how you do a zombie battle, son! Jon also learns that his Valyrian steel sword of awesome can cut through a White Walker just as well as dragon glass, so that’s good information to take back south. Wun Wun the Giant makes it back also and that makes me happy. I like Wun Wun.

So yeah, “Hardhome” was epic through and through. If I were to guess, the big battle next week will be between Stannis and Ramsey. That’s why I didn’t expect the wight battle at Hardhome as the big one doesn’t usually happen until the penultimate episode.

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Game of Thrones is all about the spoilers these days – “First of His Name” review

May 5, 2014 Leave a comment

 

So first, what’s with all the spoilers coming in fast and heavy this season? Some examples (be forewarned):

  • The Night’s King – Last week, HBO Go may have committed an inadvertent faux pas when someone writing the synopsis for “Oathkeeper” mentioned the Nights’ King as the one who changed Craster’s last baby son into Ole Blue Eyes.  As per the ASOIAF Wiki:

According to legend, the Night’s King lived during the Age of Heroes, not long after the Wall was complete. He was a fearless warrior, who was named the thirteenth Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch. Later he fell in love with a woman “with skin as white as the moon and eyes like blue stars”, he chased her and loved her though “her skin was cold as ice”, and when he gave his seed to her he gave his soul as well.[1] (Her description matches that of the Others.)

He brought her back to the Nightfort and after the unholy union, he declared himself king and her his queen, and ruled the Nightfort as his own castle for thirteen years. During the dark years of his reign, horrific atrocities were committed, of which tales are still told in the North. It was not until his own brother, the King in the North, and Joramun, the King-Beyond-the-Wall, joined forces that the Night’s King was brought down and the Night’s Watch freed. After his fall, when it was discovered that he had been sacrificing to the Others (possibly in similar way to Craster), all records of him were destroyed and his very name was forbidden.[1] It is likely this led the lords of the North to forbid the Night’s Watch to construct walls at their keeps, ensuring the keeps would always be accessible from the south.

If you remember Old Nan, she would tell current day Bran these stories and mention that she believed the Night’s King to have been the previous Bran Stark, brother to the king of Winterfell and Bran’s namesake, despite rumors to the contrary as to who the Night’s King really was. So, it could stand to reason that in Bran’s quest to see the three-eyed crow, that could mean he’s to meet up with the Nights’ King. Was this really an accidental reveal on HBO’s part? I personally don’t think so. HBO knows how to keep the viewer’s interest with this show so I think it was deliberate.

This is a huge reveal for the books that aren’t even completed yet (The Winds of Winter and A Dream of Spring). In other words, if this “fable”  is true, then could there very well be a horn that could bring down the entire Wall? Sure, why not?

  • Lysa Arryn reminds Littlefinger that he is the one who got her to put the poison in her husband’s wine. You know, the event that started the whole War of the Five Kings and got Eddard Stark to King’s Landing? Yeah, it wasn’t the Lannisters like she initially claimed. What a horrible insane bitch, no? I find no redeeming qualities in Lysa whatsoever. She just creeps me out.
  • The Queen of Thorns and Littlefinger reveal that they were behind King Joffrey’s murder. Big surprise! Yes, this was in the previous episode, but I wanted to mention it again because it’s a biggie.

There is a pattern to look at here, about how much Littlefinger is directly responsible for most of the drama going on in Westeros. He’s already got Harrenhal and is working on becoming Lord Protector of the Vale. Who is to say that his ultimate goal isn’t to sit on the Iron Throne himself by gaining more kingdoms? He knows that he’s got the disadvantage of being lowborn, but hey, even the lowborn can play the Game of Thrones and hope to possibly win.

It’s not all about Baelish though; Dany has her own troubles over in Mereen. Her advisors got her ships to sail to Westeros and invade Kings Landing. However, she has also been told that Yunkai and Astaphor which were supposed to be under her protection are currently in revolt as the old slavemasters have captured the remaining slaves. Dany knows that yes, she can go to Westeros and possibly win it, but she hasn’t exactly proven herself as an effective ruler yet. So, she makes the decision to stay where she is and figure it all out.

Bran has the chance finally to reunite with Jon Snow, but doesn’t do it because he needs to continue his quest and Jon would only try to take him back to Castle Black. So, he makes the hard decision not to say anything to Jon and continue on after warging into Hodor and cracking some skulls (and spines).

What does it say about me that when Hodor killed Locke and Ghost went after Rast I was like “Yeah! Kill them awesomely!” Bloodlust, I tell ya.

 

Game of Thrones: Oathkeeper review (spoilers)

April 28, 2014 Leave a comment

Ser Pounce! We’ve been waiting for you.

There are a lot of differences in what happens in the books compared to the series. This is pretty much a given. This episode in particular however, took that concept and ran a marathon with it. If you haven’t read ASOIAF, you’re probably better off at this point because nothing is as it seems. Bran is getting into trouble, the White Walkers don’t prove to be very good nannies, Dany’s got her own sigil up and running finally, and Jaime is getting pimp slapped with his own hand.

I was disappointed that the show had Olenna (Queen of Thorns) directly admit to Margery that she had Joffrey killed, with Littlefinger telling Sansa that he had the necklace of death made for this purpose.The books make allusions to this, but Martin makes the reader work to get to that conclusion. The series doesn’t feel the need to do this, and that’s kind of a bummer for me personally. But oh well, now you know the queen of Thorns and Baelish did it. Hurray.

In his view, Baelish’s relationship with the Lannisters is no longer profitable, but the Tyrells suit his ambition quite nicely. He wants it all, and he’ll jump from side to side to get it. I get it, but it also makes me detest him more. If loyalty can be bought, then the concept is moot.

Tommen is still young, but Margaery and Olenna know that if she doesn’t work some mojo with him, Cersei is going to turn him against her and she needs to be married to the King. He’s young still so she keeps her clandestine visit to him G rated, and I’m glad. He’s nothing like Joffrey, and so with him on the Iron Throne things won’t be so bloody as per the Lannisters for a bit.

Maybe.

Still pretty ticked off at the rape scene from last week. Jaime didn’t rape Cersei in the books, and I don’t know why the creators felt the need to go there. So unnecessary.

That’s not to say Jaime doesn’t redeem himself a bit in this episode. He gives Brienne all sorts of gifts including the sword his father had forged out of Ned Stark’s greatsword Ice. She promptly renames it Oathkeeper and swears to use it in her quest to find Sansa and protect her. Brienne made that promise to Catelynn Stark and intents to keep it no matter what. Jaime’s promise as head of the Kingsguard is to protect the King, so it’s fitting that the episode is called “Oathkeeper”; everyone’s got oaths to uphold.

As yet another going away present Jaime also give her Podrick as her squire. This gets him out of Kings Landing and away from Cersei’s increasingly paranoid and maniacal quest to find out who killed Joffrey, and her need to pin it on Tyrion to finally get her chance to have him killed. Podrick’s association with Tyrion puts him in danger’s way, so it’s right that he leaves. Brienne doesn’t want him at first, but she can’t refuse Jaime. That last look she shoots him as she rides away says it all I think.

Huge spoiler here: you the viewer also find out how little Whitewalkers are made directly. Their Whitewalker nannies take Craster’s daughters’ newborn boys and give them a little tap on the head (actually, it was the Night’s King). Easy peasy. I reveal this because it is another event hinted at the in the books but is laid flat out here. Now everyone knows.

What the hell is Bran doing by Craster’s Keep anyway? Ugh, I can’t with all changes and reveals in this episode. Excuse me while I go take a walk and simmah down nao.

 

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Great interview with the creators of Game of Thrones (spoilers possible) and Season 4 premiere – “Two Swords”

April 8, 2014 Leave a comment

My favorite part: GRRM asking them straight up who Jon Snow’s parents are before allowing them to adapt the books to television. I’m so glad they got the answer right, y’all.

That being said, the Season 4 premiere was on the money, in my most humblest of opinions. Arya gets a little revenge, chickens are consumed, and Jamie is like “What’s the deal?” with Cersei. Tywin is especially evil regarding Ice, Ned’s greatsword. Next week: there’s a wedding and The Hound may eat more chickens. Plus, the Red Viper has some things to say to the Lannisters.

This should totally be the House of Clegane’s sigil:

Stay tuned.

Editor’s note: with all the issues surrounding HBO Go crashing on Sunday nights, my thought is that HBO should hook up with some of the major movie theatre chains and screen it. I could see that being profitable on both sides.

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Game of Thrones Season 4: Ice and Fire: A Foreshadowing

February 10, 2014 Leave a comment

April’s right around the corner, kids. I for one can’t wait until the Season 4 premiere.

Until then, enjoy:

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A bad lip reading of Game of Thrones

October 16, 2013 Leave a comment

I just like this image for no particular reason whatsoever

Without further adieu, here it is:

 

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